29 books that will change how you see the world.

29. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

28. The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton

27. The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein

26. The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander and Cornel West

25. Finding Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

24. Ella Minnow Pea by Mark Dunn

23. The War of Art by Stephen Pressfield

22. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

21. The Wonderful World of Henry Sugar by Roald Dahl

20. Graceling by Kristin Cashore

19. …And I Never Saw Another Butterfly: Children’s Drawings and Poems from the Terezin Concentration Camp, 1942-1944

18. Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine

17. Nine Stories by J. D. Salinger

16. Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock  by Matthew Quick

15. North of Beautiful by Justina Chen Headley

14. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

13. House of Leaves by Mark Danielewski

12. A Monster Calls by Siohan Dowd

11. M*A*S*H by Richard Hooker

10. Last Summer of the Death Warriors by Francisco Stork

9. Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett

8. Hero by Perry Moore

7. The Thursday Next Series by Jasper Fforde

6. In Cold Blood by Truman Capote

5. The Wump World by Bill Peet

4. The Tale of Two Dueling Neurosurgeons by Sam Kean

3. Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs

2. The Harry Potter series by J. K. Rowling

1. Catch 22 by Joseph Heller

29 of my favorite films and the witticisms I shamelessly stole from them

Anyone who knows my family knows we communicate 10-30% in movie quotes on any given day. Below are the films I’ve stolen some of my most frequently-used quotes from, in absolutely no order because I tried and it was just too hard to self-analyze based on frequency. You’ll all live.

29. Pirates of the Caribbean films

“I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.”
“But why is the rum gone?”
“Wait for the opportune moment.”
“I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request.”
“I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it’s the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly stupid.”
“They’re more what you’d call guidelines…”
“The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.”

28. Indiana Jones

“It’s not the years, it’s the mileage.”
“No, the OTHER right, YOUR right.”
“Snakes. Why’d it have to be SNAKES?”

27. Thank You for Smoking

“I’m never wrong.”
“I proved that you’re wrong, and if you’re wrong, then I’m right.”
“Well, that’s one theory.”

26. Breakfast at Tiffany’s

“It’s useful being top banana in the shock department.”
“There are certain shades of limelight that can wreck a girl’s complexion.”
“People don’t belong to people.”
“How do I look?”
“Anyone who ever gave you confidence, you owe them a lot.”
“What do you do, anyway?”

25. Wet Hot American Summer

deadpan: “You guys aren’t supposed to be <out of your bunks>…you’re in trouble…”
“You taste like a burger, I don’t like you anymore.”
“Your craft is a muscle, you have to exercise it.”
“Take a break, think about what you’ve done.”

24. My Big Fat Greek Wedding

“It’s okay, I make lamb.”
“Put some windex on it.”
“There’s a hole in this cake.”
“A boont?”

23. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

“It’s just a flesh wound.”
“What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?”
“Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries.”
“A path, a path!”
“Help! Help! I’m being repressed!”
“HUGE…tracts of land.”
“There are some who call me…Tim?”
“I’m not dead yet!”
“You make me sad.”
“Run awaaaaaayyyy…”

22. Saved!

“It’s all a grey area.”
“If God wanted us all to be the same, why would he make us all so different?”

21. Hercules

“It’s been a real slice.”
“Memo to me, memo to me…”
“He’s a GUY.”
“I’m a big, tough girl. I tie my own sandals and everything.”
“I’m a damsel. I’m in distress. I can handle it. Have a nice day!”

20. Dogma

“The buddy Christ!”
“Genocide’s the most exhausting activity a person can participate in…next to soccer.”
“Well, I say we get drunk, ’cause I’m all out of ideas.”
“It was worth a try.”

19. Sandlot

“Some more of what?”
“FOR-EV-ER.”

18. Star Wars trilogy (almost cheating, I know)

“May the force be with you.”
“I love you. /I know.”
“These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.”
“I find your lack of faith disturbing.”
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
“It’s a trap!”
“Never tell me the odds.”

17. Dazed and Confused

“Alright, alright, alright…”
“You know what I like about high school[ers]?”
“All I’m saying is that if I ever start referring to these as the best years of my life – remind me to kill myself.”

16. Out Cold

“Carpe the diem. Seize the…carp.”
“Needed burnin'”
“Well, see ya out there!”
“He…died. In a freak dogsled accident. Yeah, an 8-dogsled pile-up. It’s was horrible. The dogs are okay…”
“Everybody knows, nobody cares.”

15. Orange County

“Money can’t buy happiness!” “Oh grow up, yes it can!”
“Where are your pants, Joe?” “I had to take them off…to run faster through the flames…”
“And she said, I hate my job, I’m gonna burn this mother down! And I said, you better not…you, you better not…”

14. The Princess Bride

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
“Life is pain, anyone who says different is selling something.”
“You’re only saying that because no one ever has.”
“As you wish.”
“Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.”

13. Love Actually

“Just in cases!”
“Life is full of interruptions and complications.”
“FUCK! It’s freezing!”
“Hiya kids, here’s an important message form your Uncle Bill…”
“I don’t want something I need. I want something I want.”
“Do you think everybody knows?”

12. When Harry Met Sally

“I’ll have what she’s having.”
“You’re right, you’re right, I know, you’re right.”
“On the side is a very big thing with you.”
“See, you look normal, but actually you’re the devil.”

11. Blazing Saddles

“‘Scuse me while I whip this out.”
“And isn’t it a love-e-ly mornin?”
“Are we awake?”
“Splendid, splendid.”
“Hello boys, have a good night’s rest? I missed you!”
“Harumph, harumph!”
“Wilkommen, bienvenue, welcome, come on in!”
“Need any help?” “Oh, all I can get.”
“Schnitzengruben.”
“I must, I must!”
“These are people of the land…the common clay…you know, morons.”
“Lily lily lily legs lily lily” (to my dog, don’t worry)

10. Some Like It Hot

“They all just want one thing from a girl.”
“I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop!”
“Well, nobody’s perfect.”

9. What Happens in Vegas

“You know why.”
“Seriously? I like, threw up in my purse last night.”
“I’m just giving you what you want, baby.”

8. Mean Girls

“Boo, you whore.”
“Please stop talking.”
“You can’t just ask someone why she’s white.”
“I just have a lot of feelings.”
“You can’t sit with us!”
“Why are you so obsessed with me?”

7. America’s Sweethearts

“I’m a paranoid schizophrenic, I am my own entourage.”
“I dream about bread.”
“Ever heard of falling off the wagon? This is what it looks like.”
“Life is a cookie.”
“Kiki! Kikikins!”
“I don’t care.”
“You’re the only one she’ll pretend to listen to.”

6. Little Miss Sunshine

“Losers are people who are so afraid of winning, they don’t even try.”
“When you’re young, you’re crazy to do that shit. I’m old! When you’re old, you’re crazy not to do it.”
“You’re not nearly as stupid as you look.”
“Fuck a lotta women, kid, I have no reason to lie to you. Not just one, a lotta women.”
“High school’s your prime suffering years! You don’t get better suffering than that!”
“You do what you love and fuck the rest.”
“Everybody just pretend to be normal.”

5. The Sweetest Thing

“That is the sweetest thing!”
“You named the puppy.”
“50% of what people say when they’re joking is true.”
“NO. That is NOT okay.”
“Yeah, no, I’m good, never better – never better.”
“You can always just…get divorced!”
“I look beautiful.”

4. 10 Things I Hate About You

“…and hell is just a sauna.”
“Hates you with the first of a thousand suns.”
“So now that you’ve seen *the plan* I’m going to go show…the plan…to someone else.”
“I don’t want to hear that defeatist attitude from you.”
“Are you saying I’m not a pretty guy?”
“The shit hath hiteth the fan-eth.”
“I’m confiscating this. This too.”
“Someday, you’re gonna get bitch slapped and I’m not gonna do a thing to stop it.”
“Don’t let anyone, ever, make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want.”
“I know you can be overwhelmed and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?”
“I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby.”
“Just because you’re beautiful doesn’t mean you can treat people like they don’t matter.”

3. Eurotrip

“Seemed easier.”
“I am never drinking again.”
“This is definitely where I parked my car.”
“The girls never came!”
“I’m freakin’ out, man, I’m freakin’ out!
“Here’s a fun fact…”

2. Zoolander

“…it doesn’t mean that we too can’t not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.”
“How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read… if they can’t even fit inside the building?”
“I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking.”
“Are you serious? I just told you that a moment ago.”
“I think I’m getting the black lung, pop.”

1. Garden State 
“Don’t tease me about my hobbies. I don’t tease you about being an asshole.”
“If you can’t laugh at yourself, life’s going to seem a whole lot longer than you’d like.”
“Good luck exploring the infinite abyss.”
“So what do we do now?”

 

29 videos that make me happy.

This is a day late…but yesterday would have been a day early…February is a little bit crazy, but it still deserves a #29for29 list.

Life is full of ups and downs, twists and turns…and we all have our ways of dealing with them. One of my favorite methods of dealing with the less-than-pleasant world is to watch videos that bring me joy.

Here are my top 29, ordered from amusing to life-bringing. Watch at your leisure.

29. Obama’s like a real person

 

28. Weekend Update Joke-off (where my fave people on SNL were all together)

 

27. Pretty much any Scrubs episode prior to season 7. Here are some options for you (and I do the first one, btw).

 

26. Canadian Tire thingy aka…sappy teacher video

 

25. Jack Sparrow

 

24.  Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog (the middle is my favorite part)

 

23. The adorable laughing penguin.

 

22. Movie Insults (for when you want to say things you shouldn’t)

 

21. The end of Crazy Stupid Love

 

20. Any of Jimmy’s Thank You notes

 

19. Dick in a Box (an oldie but a goodie)

 

18. The final Obama Anger Translator (because I can’t anymore)

 

17. If you’re not a Texas Tech fan, you won’t get this one – if you are, I don’t need to explain. Crappy video quality, sure, but my memory is sharp.

 

16. The Little Miss Sunshine dance scene

 

15. Bruce Willis as Rachel’s boyfriend

 

14. Glove and Boots Hero’s Journey (yes, it’s educational, but I still love it)

 

13. Drunk History vol. 5 Remember when drunk history was only online? I do. I’m so old.

 

12. Any Celebrity Jeopardy sketch with “Sean Connery” in it. That 40th anniversary edition is like a high school classroom.

 

11.Kyle’s Mom (no, I’m not better than this)

 

10. Beyonce’s dancers

 

9. Sassy Gay Friend – Giving Tree

 

8. The Mysterious Ticking Noise

 

7. Whine about it: Why mornings are the worst

 

6. America’s Sweethearts buffet monologue – I know this whole thing. Like, memorized.

 

5. Bonjour, Girl!

 

4. The convenience store scene. Sorry not sorry. At all.

 

3. 2015 Madden commercial (I still love it, shamelessly. I still don’t totally know why.)

 

2. Substitute teacher video pt. 1

 

1. Substitute teacher video pt. 3 (low quality, I know, sorry, but it’s worth it)

29 unforgettable experiences

I’ve had 29 years and 8 months of experiences. And as Colbert would say, I love experiencing experiences. Many of these experiences have made me a better person. Others have made great stories. At the end of the day, these 29 experiences have helped make me the person I am today.

29. Watching my high school football team win the state playoffs. The rain, the chilly weather, and awful playing conditions definitely made the showdown seem Hollywood-worthy. It also solidified my love of the game and being a fan.

28. Riding out a tornado at Sea World. I know, sounds like a Sharknado spin-off, but it happened. While I don’t think it really shaped me, it’s unforgettable.

27. Harvesting wine grapes. Never underestimate the power of a working weekend vacation.

26. Road tripping late at night.  When you’re in college, it’s always a great idea to drive 5 hours one way from Columbia, MO to Ames, Iowa and back on a weeknight to see Frank Warren speak. It’s also always a good idea to go for extensively long weeknight drives to air out frustration, even if you do end up in Fulton, MO.

25. Seeing Hot Hot Heat perform at the Blue Note in Columbia, Missouri my freshman year. I didn’t know who they were, but I do now, and it continues to stand as the best concert experience I’ve ever had.

24. Getting my tattoos. There are people who appreciate body art and people who don’t. I OBVIOUSLY love it – even if those two-three weeks after going under the needle are less than comfortable.

23. Finishing a whole chapstick. No, for real, it happened. I couldn’t believe it, and I don’t think that I’ve ever felt a greater sense of achievement.

22. Finishing my first book. Despite the fact that I will never, ever, ever have that one published, it was truly a labor of love and one of the top 5 things I’m proud of in my life.

21. Seeing Barack Obama speak at Mizzou before the election. It wasn’t just that he was a phenomenal speaker or that he became President, it was the whole process and feeling of the night. When there’s that much energy focused in the same direction, you can feel it in the air.

20. Getting pulled over for the first time. I drive with purpose. Sometimes that purpose is also quite urgent (or I feel like it is, anyway) and I end up driving a little faster than I should. I doubt that I’ll ever NOT drive like this, but the first time I got pulled over will always stick in my mind when I hit that one speed…

19. Being snow-stranded in NYC. As much as I love my friends and love traveling, I’m really, really bad when my travels don’t go as planned. I learned a ton about my tolerance for incongruity that three days.

18. Taking a positive psychology class. This class was one of the least-important classes I’ve ever taken, but I also have to say that

17. Seeing my name in print for the first time. It was addictive, and I still miss it a little. But in the end, I’m not about that cutthroat life and I want to actually MAKE change happen, not just write about people who do.

16. My second first kiss. When your first kiss is at age 5 on the playground, the second one is the real first one.

15. Doing missionary work in Piedras Negras and Eagle Pass. The summer after my freshman year of high school, I went on a mission trip with my (soon-to-be-abandoned-by-me) church. A lot of what happened on that trip informed my opinions about missionary vs aid work and helped me realize what I consider to be my ultimate goal in life: helping others.

14. Finally attending an Aimee Mann concert. I’ve loved Aimee Mann’s music since I was but a wee middle school student, so actually seeing her in concert after years of pining was absolutely amazing. It was an experience I’ll never forget.

13. Earning a journalism degree at Mizzou. Believe me, Mizzou’s undergrad program truly deserves its notoriety. There are things you learn about life, people, and the world as a working reporter that you can’t learn any other way. And Mizzou is the best place to do it.

12. Breaking my tailbone. So much pain. Going to classes and standing up the whole time. Not being able to actually SIT for a while. Whole thing.

11. The first time I bought something in a single-digit size. Yes, body positivity! We’re all beautiful! But really, I still remember the day that I actually fit into a size 8 pants and I started crying in the dressing room.

10. Every time I’ve thrown a dance. I love hosting things, whether it’s at my house or elsewhere. Homecoming at MHS, the Honors dances at Mizzou, I loved all the stress and excitement combined.

9. Graduating high school. I know, my college degree doesn’t make the cut, but this one does? Yeah, because leaving high school is like discovering that a whole world is open to you. That feeling is the best in the world.

8. Watching the kids I taught for three years move on to high school. I had all the feels with this one, because in my mind and heart, those kids were my kids – still are. I was a hot fucking mess for like 48 hours, but I wouldn’t trade knowing those kiddos for anything.

7. Buying a house. I’m so bad at making decisions that I can still remember the anxiety I felt at pulling the trigger on buying my house. Yet, I absolutely love it and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

6. Almost flipping my car in the snow. Aaaaaand continuing to drive from Columbia, MO to Olathe, KS because I was determined to make it the hell out of dodge for the holiday. I was a fool. But oh well.

5. Going through therapy. Best decision I’ve made for my own health, ever. If you truly want to know yourself and improve your life, consider it.

4. Adopting & rehabilitating a street dog (or three). Each of my fur babies have come to me with their own stories and their own struggles. Figuring out earn their trust, keep them healthy, and make them a part of the family made me a better person.

3. Studying abroad in South America. It make have been a short stay, but learning how to communicate across cultures, expanding my horizons, and building connections in Argentina, Chile, and Uruguay really made an impact on how I imagined my future and what I believed I could do.

2. Being a PA. I swear, being a PA was the best preparation for anything life can throw at me. Except like, paying taxes and bills and whatnot. But everything else? Yeah. Definitely. And it gave me confidence I never had before – so I owe ResLife one (or 18,000).

1. Traveling alone. I recently went to the UAE and Ghana, but I’ve been other places on my own before – from Chicago to Boston to road trips galore. Truth is, you learn something new about yourself with each trip.

#29for29 goals progress update

Instead of New Year’s resolutions, I’m checking in on my own #29for29 goals that are going to run out of time in five short months.

The end of 2016 was pretty cray for me, so let’s see where I’m at.

1. Visit two new countries I’ve never been to before.  Ghana and Dubai
2. Take a cooking class. December 16, Dad and I went to a class that was all about cranberries.
3. Work out again. For at least a solid 3-6 months routine if not longer.
4. Attend a gala. Went to the Margarita Ball November 19th to benefit children’s charities.
5. Plant a tree.
6. Do something that absolutely terrifies me.
7. Write a new book. It’s coming along really slowly. I may have to substitute something else here…
8. Learn how to do one fancy hairstyle really, really well. I can do one fairly decent, but it needs some work.
9. Make a pilgrimage to my heart-home. Spring Break?
10. Re-read Jasper Fforde’s books I love and read the new ones for the first time.
11. While I’m at it, let’s do the same for Harry Potter. Progress so far: I’m in Book 4.
12. Buy a stranger’s dinner. Did this one a couple of times, actually.
13. Finally learn to use my sewing machine.
14. Complete a 30-day photo challenge.
15. Go clubbing. In two different cities, no less.
16. Catch up with all the people with whom I never intended to lose touch.
17. Find a new volunteering opportunity.
18. Get a makeover, just for fun. Rolled this one into the gala one on November 19.
19. Have a legit 12-hour movie marathon – topic to be determined.
20. Finish my “Girl Power” wall of inspiration (for now, I’m never really done with any of my creative projects).
21. Write fan letters to the five people whose work I admire most. 2 down.
22. Spend a day completely by myself.
23. Get another tattoo. Already working on it, should get started within the next week – but it’s a doozy, so it’ll take a couple of sessions.
24. Color something every. single. week. So far.
25. Throw a four-course dinner party that I cook myself. December 29th!
26. Mark one more off my list of the “World’s Most Beautiful Libraries.” George Peabody Library in Baltimore
27. Learn to meditate.
28. See at least one more live performance of *something.* I’ve been to so, so many. Seth Meyers, jazz, poetry reading, cultural dancing in Dubai, DNCE in January…
29. Write a “29” blog post every month. So far!

So. 11 done, 5 in progress, 2 good so far, and 11 to go.

Still making it! But I need to get a small move on, because I’m over halfway out of time and not quite halfway done with the list. I’m sure I can do it.

 

 

 

29 priceless possessions

Let’s be real: my life has been a little bit off the rails as of late, and I’ve been a little bitter. And I tried to excise the bitterness by letting it all out…but…it’s probably impossible at this point. So to refocus, for myself, I’m writing about some good things in my life.

29. My autographed Cash Cab tee Buzzed-Erin may have embarrassed herself to get this autographed, but it was a good choice anyway.

28. Cake Y’all, I’m not sure that anyone truly understands how much I love cake. But I do.

27. Mirrors You never truly understand how important a mirror is until you spend 2 weeks without one.

26. Piano It’s rare that I actually sit down and play my old piano these days, but the choice to do it when I simply need to is vital in my life.

25. Tapestry For years, this thing didn’t fit the rest of my style – and it still doesn’t, but it does fit the fairytale-themed guest room in my house.

24. My grandfather’s hat Sentimental, sure. Does it fit my head? Not at all. But I do love it.

23. Humor & wit One of the traits that my students love about me is also one of the things I love about myself.

22. An eye for unique style and taste One thing I don’t get is how other people decorate their homes. Like, did you look at a magazine and just model your whole house after what you liked best? (Yes, apparently, some people do that.) I love that everything I buy is unique – or at least put together in a unique way. Not everyone can do that.

21. Love of reading Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book. – Anonymous

20. Sewing machine desk Was it legitimately inherited? Yes. Does it make me a hipster? Yes. Do I care? A little.

19. Health Somethings you can’t buy with money or obtain no matter what lengths you go to – and overall health is one of them. I’m thankful for every disease I don’t have.

18. Music It is the food of the soul.

17. Opportunity to impact change I love this part of my job. But the truth is, we all are given this opportunity in the US and how many of us use it?

16. Respect Not only is respect earned, but it’s often not given even when you do earn it. So I treasure having it from those I do.

15. Memories Important, but they fade.

14. Compliments I’m terrible at accepting them, and they make me uncomfortable, but the world would be a much meaner place without them.

13. International art collections An example of true cultural exchange in my living room. Pardon the fact that my summer travel spoils have yet to be framed and placed.

12. Intelligence Not everyone has it, and though it often makes life more difficult, I’m thankful that I was graced with it.

11. Photographs There was a time in my life that I didn’t take enough, and so I cherish my photos now, rather than whine about the #selfie culture.

10. Mental health Somethings you can’t buy with money or obtain no matter what lengths you go to – and overall health is one of them. I’m thankful for every disease I don’t have.

9. Tattoos Yes, these rank above my general health, because when I’m dying or desperately ill, or even dead…my tattoos will still be there. #stayingpower

8. Friendships My biggest dream in life was to have friends who become family – not just because I loved the TV show growing up, but because having a family of friends means that they chose me, not that they were stuck with me, and I’m so thankful and humbled that I have one.

7. Degrees/diplomas Generally representative of education, these also mark times when I was successful (no, I don’t have the one from this year up yet).

 

6. Self-confidence Some people are born with it. I was not. I faked it most of my life, and worked hard to actually create it the rest…and it’s not always as strong as I’d like. But having it is worth the work, because it makes a world of difference.

5. Imagination/creativity This, however, is something that I was born with. And it’s such a huge part of who I am that I don’t know who I would be without it.

2-4. Dorrie, Skeeter, and Tigerlily My precious babies.

1. Oatmeal My stuffed dog is the real MVP, y’all. I mean really. He has been my constant source of comfort and companionship my entire life – even when I realized all those imaginary friends were fake. Oatmeal listens and commiserates, even after all this time. (Always.)

29 Fictional Female BAMFS

Today, my #29for29 list is something that I needed to write…so I could read it and be inspired by it in the coming days.

The start of this school year has been the roughest by far, and I’ve needed the strength of my favorite fictional female BAMFs to get me through. Don’t know what a BAMF is? Check Urban Dictionary and it’ll get resolved pretty quickly.

I’m not about feminist shaming or critiques of “strong, female characters” that you see online – because I think that the best way to encourage women to be strong is to recognize women for who they want to be – feminine, smart, physically strong, emotionally strong, whatever – so long as they’re true to themselves, no matter what anyone thinks.

These women all are, which in my book makes them bamf-tastic.

29. Olivia Benson When my roommate and I weren’t in class or out making new friends our freshman year of college, we were learning how to be strong, independent women via the TV in our dorm room by watching Olivia Benson do her thing.

28. Mrs. Groetke I wish I was as badass as Mrs. Groetke is everyday teaching her students the truth instead of what her bosses or the education agencies tell her to. Preach, fam!

27. Victoria Grant (Victor/Victoria) Victoria Grant is a woman who makes the world that she lives in work for her. Even if that means that she has to pretend to be a man to get what she deserves…and when love comes around? She still refuses to compromise her own success to make her partner comfortable. Bamfed.

26. Jasmine I know this is going to be a controversial pick for a lot of traditional feminists due to the whole outfit and Disney and blah…but let’s be real – Jasmine was pretty badass to keep sneaking out of the palace, have a tiger as a pet, defy expectations, and get on a carpet that appeared to be flying. That all takes some chutzpah. Plus, her sass…

25. Matilda As much as I like the movie, I’m fairly certain that the book Matilda, who teaches herself to survive in a family that neglects and dresses her down for her intelligence on the daily while still holding on to enough strength to rebel at school as well is more impressive.

24.  Lucille Bluth  Half the judging faces and half the threats I make are from this woman. She may be insane, racist, and a raging bitch, but she is unapologetically herself and I love her for it. I have actually said the following line several times.

23. Juno This character does everything to protect her baby’s future and ensure it a good life, and eventually, to do the right thing for her world. She’s not always happy about it, but she does it and handles her life. This is more than I can do on a regular basis.

22. Jessie Alden If you know who this character is, we should be best friends. If not, that’s okay – she’s the oldest sibling in the Boxcar Children series of books, and takes care of all of them at the young age of 12, acting as mother. I wanted to be her as a kid.

21. The women of Firefly Seriously, I love all their personalities. Combined, they represent the most powerful part of women – the power of sexuality, the power of vulnerability and heart, the power of strength and resiliency, and the power of intelligence.

20. Edna Mode I just love her and her sass. So much sass in such a tiny body.

19. Lady Katsa One of my all-time fave YA heroines, who definitely beats any of the other recently popular leading ladies, is this chick. She’s tragically misunderstood, even by herself, which speaks to the strength of her character for forging onward and fulfilling a destiny she doesn’t completely understand.

18. Rome in Magic Mike XXL #lifegoals. That’s all.

17. The Dowager Countess Dame Maggie Smith plays some amazing characters, but the Dowager is one of my favorites. She has a confidence I can only dream of. 

16. Spinelli Spinelli represents the little girl we all have inside ourselves who is proud to be a badass and not worried about what guys – or other girls – think of it. One day I will be her for Halloween and it will be so glorious that I won’t know what to do with myself.

15. Rizzo (Grease) Look, I work in a high school and any student who can flaunt a shimmery pink jacket, drawing more attention to her while everyone’s already buzzing with rumors is essentially #bamfgoals. 

14. Seven of Nine She survived separation from the strongest kind of family, sought out ways to make herself a better person, and wore an outfit that was essentially painted on. Communicator drop.

13. B’Elana Torres As much as I’m impressed by Seven’s character, I’ve always really loved Voyager’s chief engineer best, because she’s a boss in a male-dominated field, snags and tames the ship playboy, and has other struggles I can relate to…and hope I learn to accept as I get older, too.

12. The women of Bones Once again, all of these women are talented and don’t need a man or family to be complete, though they all eventually allow themselves to choose at least one of them to enrich their lives.

11. Pincess Leia I don’t know why some feminists cry foul over the Golden Bikini scene when she was obviously being held against her will there…when not imprisoned, she’s a firecracker rebellion leader who stands up to Han Solo’s good looks until he actually earns her respect.

10. Liz Lemon Liz Lemon is real. Liz Lemon is a hot mess. Liz Lemon is me in a few years, if I’m lucky.

9. Ms. Frizzle Okay, so I may dress like Ms Frizzle, which takes one kind of bravery, but I’m not a scientist, and I’m not magic, and I’ve never flaunted school district rules to endanger my students in the name of learning. Well…at least, not that I’ll admit. So she gets the #BAMFteacher award fo’ sho’.

8. Thursday Next She’s a literary detective in an alternate world where books are so important that forgeries and crimes against literature have their own dedicated task force. That’s amazing enough, but then she manages to go INTO BOOKS to protect literature from its own pages? And she finds time to start a family? The woman can do it all.

7. Holly Golightly She approaches everything with grace and enthusiasm. Which, in consideration of how her life is actually going, takes a lot of strength and bravery to do each day.

6. Elizabeth Bennet It takes a lot of strength to defy male expectations in the age of Pride and Prejudice. It takes even more strength to admit when you’re wrong AND own your weaknesses without losing confidence, which Lizzie does quite well.

5. Kat from 10 Things I Hate About You Yes, I know that Kat Stratford is modeled after a Shakespearean character. No, I don’t want to change my mind and list the original. Why? Because being a feminist with a dedication to rebellion, college dreams, and atoning for your previous bad decisions is a rough path to take, but Kat chose it. And she owned every minute of the screen, even when she realized that maybe the best choice was to drop the hardline and allow herself to be happy.

4. Cat Ballou The star of this 60s Western musical comedy (oh yes) is surrounded by useless men, some who want to help her, some who want to kill her, and others who merely want to oppress her. But, as every woman knows she should, she ultimately eschews “man-splaining” and “man skills” and takes care of business herself.

3. Captain Janeway I would say that I learned probably 75% of how to be a strong, independent woman from Captain Janeway, thanks to my dad’s nerdy guidance in encouraging me to watch the entire series. There were even times as a young child that when people would say “WWJD” as an answer or piece of advice, I would pretend the “J” stood for Janeway. I figured out what to do a helluva lot faster that way – since the Janeway answer is always either drink coffee, say no, or make an intense facial expression to tell the other person how wrong and/or stupid they are.

2. Hermione Hermione is smart, goal-oriented, honest, caring, and above-all loyal. She keeps Harry and Ron in check, refuses to apologize for her dedication to academics, and also values herself enough to not settle for the position of “back up date.” But, more importantly, she punches Malfoy in the face. Fan-bamfing-tastic.

1. Megara It’s no secret that I absolutely love Disney’s oft-neglected heroine, who was (imho) the real star of Hercules, because I believe that it takes a truly strong woman to sacrifice everything for love, get over the betrayal, make compromises to survive, refuse to swoon over the hunk of the week, and then do it all over again when you realize he’s the real thing. Sometimes, the greatest strength is in vulnerability, and Meg proves it.

Image credits: All gifs – giphy.com; 23 – http://jaycwolfe.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Matilda_and_Trunchbull.jpg; 22 – http://the-toast.net/2015/03/26/the-boxcar-children/; 21 – http://fgc.yuku.com/topic/414/Gold-Thai-Big-Brother; 12 – http://prerender_dev.sandbox.gfycat.com/search/angela%20montenegro;

29 people I would totally marry right now

Last week, I was chit-chatting with a friend of mine about all the weddings I have coming up, including a couple of people who got engaged and are getting married SUPER-fast. I don’t really understand the rush sometimes, buuuuuuuut the more I thought about it, the more people I came up with to marry in an instant if they asked me.

So here you go – here’s a list of 29 people I would marry within the month if they proposed right now. Regardless of feasibility, of course.

29. That one kid from elementary school. You know the one. The one we all had that insane crush on because he was just SO CUTE and SO COOL. I would say yes so fast…even though I totally don’t even remember his name.

28. Dimitri from Anastasia Ya, fake, so I’m safe on this one. But I’m a sucker for a con artist who I can turn into an honest man, and those people don’t exist in real life, so…

27. Neil Gaiman The man has impressive hair and is a literary genius, so sure.

26. Dave Franco He seems like the lesser of the crazies when it comes to the Franco family, and therefore the smart choice. Plus, he’s loyal, or so I hear.

25. Dominic Toretto Vin Diesel as he is isn’t really my taste, but ever since I saw the Fast and the Furious in middle school, there has always been something irresistible about a big, buff, car-driving head of household who protects friends like family. I could totally be a part of that.

24. Flynn Rider He’s like, the realest of all the Disney princes, and he really isn’t into cheesy singing unless the mood strikes him, so he’s making the list of potentials.

23. Brangelina They’re strongest as a unit rather than separate. WE would be even stronger.

22. Chandler Bing How could I not? He’s like my favorite friend, and quite preferable to Matthew Perry himself.

21. Jonathan Taylor Thomas Look, I haven’t seen any recent images of this kid, but growing up, I wasn’t obsessed with Leo, Freddie Prinze Jr., or Ryan Phillippe, I was all about JTT.

20. Joe Biden He’s the most entertaining VP I’ve seen in a while. Plus, have you seen that scarf gif? No? Here you are.

19. Norman Reedus Not because of The Walking Dead. Never because of the Walking Dead. Because of Boondocks Saints. Always.

18. Harrison Ford I know he’s old guys, I do. But if the man who is Indiana Jones AND Han Solo asks me to marry him, I’m doing it.

17. Ferris Bueller I really need someone to help me take a chill pill and be spontaneous once in a while, so he’d be a great fit.

16. The Sauza Tequila commercial guy I don’t know his name, and I don’t want to, because if I do, there’s the danger that I might become a crazy stalked girl. I’ll just watch him on the YouTubes.

15. Aladdin I do like to discover new worlds.

14. Heath Ledger Yeah, I know, another impossibility. But if we’re dreaming, I’m going to go all-in. Especially since…well…a lot of my early dreams involved this guy.

13. Daniel Radcliffe It’s not just that he plays the Boy Who Lived…it’s also that he played one of the most interesting characters I’ve read in adult contemporary fiction, Ig Parrish.

12. Harry Potter The fictional character definitely gets dibs on the spot above his actor. Books are always better than movies. Plus, I’m pretty sure he would let me adopt all the orphans.

11. Will Smith This one’s an impossibility because I am legit terrified of Jada Pinkett Smith. Like…terrified in an I-wish-I-was-half-that-badass way.

10. Zach Braff Teenage-me would have to say yes, no matter what. Despite the fact that it would almost immediately end poorly, it would have to happen. Plus, how adorably awkward would we be together? Who am I kidding, we would totally last.

9. Emma Watson Yes, a girl. In the top ten. I admire her in an I-wish-I-was-that-poised-and-badass-and-gorgeous way, so if she’s down, I’m in, too.

8. Joe Manganiello Thanks, Magic Mike, for helping me understand how sexy water and Cheetos can be.

7. Dule Hill I don’t think that anyone truly appreciates my love for this guy, especially his work on Psych. But believe you me, I’d be all about that, given had the chance.

6. Jon Hamm Don Draper. Mizzou. You need anything more? I don’t.

5. Mookie Betts He’s my Boston player-of-the-year, and he’s only five years younger than me, so I’d have some good years to spend mostly on my own before he retires. That’s important when you barely know someone.

4. James McAvoy Loved him since the original version of State of Play, and that fire has not burned itself out, though it has somewhat lessened since he took roles that require him to shave his head.

3. Joseph Gordon-Levitt For reals, y’all. I have loved him at all my (and his) ages – from Angels in the Outfield to The Dark Knight Rises. That’s some staying power right there.

2. Johnny Depp So wise. So private and mysterious. So talented. So damn hot. So yes.

1. The one person who gets me. Obviously, I haven’t met him yet, but if he’s out there, and he understands my need for alone time, appreciates both Aimee Mann & The Hush Sound, loves my quirkiness, and is totally cool with playing Ke$ha at our wedding, then it’s meant to be.

29 goals for my 29th year

This weekend, I celebrated my 29th birthday (which was also my golden birthday, since I turned 29 on the 29th).

 

The celebrations were delightful, but they also reminded me that I’m getting old…because I definitely opted for relaxing in lieu of half the plans that I’d made for the weekend, and I have no regrets about it.

I know, Danny Glover. I know.

Anyhow, while I may need to tone it down a little bit on the turning up, I absolutely refuse to take a backseat at life – and so I decided to make a list of 29 things I legitimately want to do this year, before I turn 30. Not because life ends at 30, but because I want to have even bigger horizons to reach for at that point.

1. Visit two new countries I’ve never been to before.
   • This better happen, I’ve already bought the ticket.
2. Take a cooking class.
   • I’ve always wanted to go, but I’ve never managed to rationalize the expense.
3. Work out again. For at least a solid 3-6 months routine if not longer.
   • Nope, not a fun goal. But one that I need to make work.
4. Attend a gala.
   • Because I’m fancy, bitch.
5. Plant a tree.
   • I took down four this year, it’s time I replace at least one of them.
6. Do something that absolutely terrifies me.
   • Shouldn’t be hard. I’m scared of a lot of stuff.
7. Write a new book.
   • I miss miss miss writing, but now that grad school is over, I have time to make it happen again.
8. Learn how to do one fancy hairstyle really, really well. 
   • Not a ponytail, not just a straight blow-dry, but something special for when I need it. 
9. Make a pilgrimage to my heart-home.
   • Columbia, Missouri – I’m coming for you, fam.
10. Re-read Jasper Fforde’s books I love and read the new ones for the first time.
    • Thursday Next is my homegirl, y’all. And I haven’t read his new stuff for YA, but I’m excited to see what else Fforde has dreamed up.
11. While I’m at it, let’s do the same for Harry Potter.
    • If Thursday’s my girl, then Harry’s my boy.
12. Buy a stranger’s dinner.
    • It seems like a nice thing to do.
13. Finally learn to use my sewing machine.
    • …two years later.
14. Complete a 30-day photo challenge.
    • You’d think I’d already done this, but you’d be wrong.
15. Go clubbing.
    • It’s been a while for a reason, but I do enjoy dancing in spaces that are too crowded for people to realize how bad of a dancer I am.
16. Catch up with all the people with whom I never intended to lose touch.
    • Not the people I phased/cut out, but the people who drifted. It’s time for a check-in.
17. Find a new volunteering opportunity.
    • Back at it with the more time thing. Plus, the need for something other than just my job that gives my life a little direction.
18. Get a makeover, just for fun.
    • Not because I need one, but because I think it would be entertaining.
19. Have a legit 12-hour movie marathon – topic to be determined.
    • Star Wars? Star Trek? Indiana Jones? 90s teen romcoms? Over-done indie movies of the early 2000s? So many options.
20. Finish my “Girl Power” wall of inspiration (for now, I’m never really done with any of my creative projects).
    • It’s well on its way and I love love love it, but I’ll need to complete some of the other items on my list before I can call it mostly complete.
21. Write fan letters to the five people whose work I admire most.
    • Authors, artists, anyone who inspires me.
22. Spend a day completely by myself.
    • This means no friends, family, or social media for 24 hours. Just me. Not sure how I’ll make this happen, but I will.
23. Get another tattoo.
    • There are several vying to be next, but we’ll have to see which occasion presents itself first.
24. Color something every. single. week.
    • People know me well. I received many coloring books for presents during my 28th year, and I love them all. Plus, coloring is like a form of therapy for me, so I am super-into it.
25. Throw a four-course dinner party that I cook myself.
    • The cooking class should help with that.
26. Mark one more off my list of the “World’s Most Beautiful Libraries.”
    • I predict this will be the George Peabody Library in Baltimore – I’ve been to the New York Public Library, the Morgan Library in NYC, the Boston Public Library, and the Seattle Central Library.
27. Learn to meditate.
    • This comes highly recommended from one of the three people I respect most in the world, so I should probably get on that.
28. See at least one more live performance of *something.*
    • Musical? Play? Concert? TV taping? All of the above?
29. Write a “29” blog post every month.
    • Last one is to get my ass back into blogging. Master’s degree ruined a lot of the fave parts of my life, but I’m reclaiming every part it tried to take – this blog included. So, each month I’m going to post about my “29 favorite/most important whatevers.” This list counts as the first one.

See? I’m already on my way.