I’m the best at indulging myself these days. I once wasn’t but now I’ve learned to take care of me…and though I have days where I feel like this makes me not as good of a teacher, I know that it makes me a better person.
If we truly want to be happy, we have to embrace our vices once in a while and indulge ourselves. Here are my top 29 vices, though I’m certain that I’ll discover that I left a couple out here and there.
29. Picking at my nail polish I’ve never managed to break myself of this habit, and I feel that no measure of determination or amount of therapy will ever achieve its demise.
28. Correcting peoples’ grammar The new update has taken this to a whole new level. Grammar Snob
27. Feeling faaaaaaaancy I love to get dressed to the nines and make a reservation every once in a while. That’s why I love restaurant week and added “gala” to my list of things I wanted to do.
26. Sno cones I hate ice cream, but I love snow cones.
25. Massages and pedicures I do sit for a pedicure every now and then, but I get a massage every month. Like, it auto-deducts from my account. Has for the past three years. I have zero regrets about this ever.
24. The State Fair of Texas (and other festivals) Honestly, I love cultural festivities. But also, I love reasons to break my healthy eating rule. All bets are off for the State Fair and the North Texas Irish Festival.
23. Clothes, in general I have a lot, a lot, a lot of clothes. Now that I enjoy showing off my figure, it’s a whole thing. But hey – I wear everything I own.
22. Puppy snuggles So much time wasted, except it’s not actually wasted when it’s making me and adorable furry things happy.
21. A really good theme Seriously, I’m such a sucker. This is why I go all-in for spirit days.
20. Boots Half the shoes I own are boots, yet I continue to actively look for new boots. I have a very real problem.
19. Romance novels and fan fiction I’ll admit it, I love reading good smut. Or even mediocre smut. Particularly if it’s something I secretly ship. Plus, fan fiction is free and easier to hide.
18. Quirky jewelry & purses People compliment me all the damn time about my phone purse and piñata earrings – it boosts my ego, and as a high school teacher, my ego can always use a little bit of TLC.
17. Pinterest ridiculousness I suck at a lot of the skills that Pinterest projects require, but I refuse to give up on the feasibility of my crafting goals.
16. Coloring It is, after all, on my list of things I’m doing during my golden year…
15. Cheese My roommate and I once spent a day demolishing a baguette and a wheel of cheese in our freshman dorm while watching SVU. I remember this fondly.
14. Schadenfraude Pretty sure I’m part German, so this isn’t a huge surprise.
13. Judging people We all do it. And most people deserve it.
12. Chocolate Once, I wasn’t so obsessed with desserts. But then, the smaller my body got, the larger my sugar cravings became.
11. LOUD music It hurts my hearing, sure, but I can still hear kids across the room call each other pendejos while they’re working in groups, so I’m not too worried.
10. Fancy pens I buy a lot of pens. I think this vice is common among both teachers and journalists and type-A people as a group.
9. Long, hot baths Look, I remodeled my entire bathroom because I spend so much time lounging in the tub.
8. Tattoos Yes, they’re addictive. Yes, I have a lot of ideas about my next ones. No, I don’t regret any of them.
7. Netflix It’s like the best friend that doesn’t live across the country.
6. Books, books, and more books I managed to read that stupid tidying up book and get rid of like 1/8 of the books I keep in my house, and then I ended up replacing like a quarter of the ones I freed. I’m just going to go ahead and give up.
5. Cake…bread…all carbs, really. There’s a reason I have this monologue memorized.
4. Driving for no reason I love the environment, but I can’t seem to let go of the habit of driving with no direction. To alleviate my guilt, I donate to green energy projects each year.
3. Diet soda (and Sonic) I drink Diet Pepsi almost exclusively now, unless I’m at a bar or driving through Sonic. I just can’t turn down their ice, even if they haven’t removed the aspertame yet.
2. Microwave popcorn Pretty sure it’s like, the one thing that I eat more often than anything else. This is why I have cancer insurance.
1. Alcohol When you say, “I’m going to my bar,” and your coworkers name off four different possibilities before hitting the one you meant, it might mean that you like alcohol more than the average person (though I doubt it’s more than the average teacher).