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But srsly….pig noses are better than ice maidens.

Okay, so I finally did it.

I put myself on the holds list at the library and two days later, I went to pick up one of their FREAKING FOURTEEN COPIES of Frozen that they can’t keep on the shelves. Then, I sat around for the rest of the week until the day before I had to turn it in, and then I made myself actually sit down and watch it.

I’ll just leave the spoiler alert here now, I suppose. Continue at your own risk.


And yes, it’s incredibly cute and sweet, and I like that they didn’t need a dude to save them. In fact, I think I actually laughed out loud at a few parts. And I felt slightly validated by Kristoff talking to/for Sven. (See, Dorrie and Skeeter? He does it, too. Mommy’s not crazy.)


I have three main issues that stop me from enjoying this movie as much as most of the country (or so it seems).

1. I truly enjoy watching male characters in films.

That’s my bad, guys. Just a part of who I am, I suppose. So although I love, love, LOVE watching strong female characters, I generally am not a huge fan of films that don’t include at least one male lead. Ex: my disdain for Bridesmaids and only moderate enjoyment of Thelma and Louise (Brad saved that one for me).

This may have something to do with me relating to the male characters better sometimes…I mean…just check out my results from Buzzfeed’s “Which Frozen character are you?” quiz.

Screen Shot 2014-07-25 at 12.41.24 AM

2. I had a hard time NOT picturing the actual actors whilst watching the animation.

It’s like how a lot of people hated Batman and Robin because George Clooney looked like freaking George Clooney even through the mask (and for a lot of other reasons I know, but you get my point). Like, you’re not fooling anyone, bro. Just give it up.

I wanted to throw something at the screen during “Let It Go,” because I was like, “sooooooo, Elphaba?”

And the WORST PART is that I had no idea who the voices were prior to the film, but I could recognize Idina, Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, AND Jonathan Groff from both their voices AND the fact that a lot of the animation’s mannerisms matched how the actual people act.

For me, that ruins the magic. Or at least, if it doesn’t ruin it, distracts from it.

3. The message, while great, wasn’t quite up to par for me anymore.

Yes, all of America, I agree that it’s fantastic that Disney has been writing about princesses and queens and the like who don’t need a guy to save and/or validate them. But since when is Disney the end-all-be-all of fairy tales?

Oh. Right. Since always.

To tell the truth, as much as I appreciate most and adore a few Disney films, as a little girl I preferred what I refer to as “off brand” movies. I mean, give me Anastasia over Snow White or Sleeping Beauty any day for a long-lost princess. And nothing could rival my affection for Fern Gully when it came to movies about fairies. I mean, Tinker Bell? Bitch, please. She couldn’t even talk properly, let alone save a whole rainforest.

Due to my indulgence in the off-Disney fairytale, I’ve been spoiled. And I want to share with you the knowledge that there IS a children’s movie out there that gives an even more affirming message to young (and old) girls about love. It just isn’t animated.

Cue Penelope.

The 2006 film is about an heiress whose family curse results in her being born with the nose of a pig. In modern-day England. And, just like any good fairytale, she needs to find a certain kind of love to break the spell. And yes, there’s a handsome, intelligent, but ultimately flawed lead male character floating around there, with some pretty entertaining supporting characters of both sexes.


I refuse to ruin the plot/ending for you, and maybe you can guess at it based on what I’ve said in this blog entry so far, but I have to admit that this movie influenced me more than I realize most days, even though I saw it as a college student and not a little girl.

But really, guys – go watch it and ask yourself why Disney hasn’t made a movie with that message yet.

Then you can watch Frozen again. Because it is pretty darn cute, even if it doesn’t have the #1 best moral of all time. 😉



We seek to learn, and when academics do not present the answers, we look inside our own beautiful imaginations for the key.

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