Posted in Humor, This is real life.

How a Pseudo-adult Celebrates the Fourth

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As a kinda-adult who is starting quite a few new things, a holiday called “Independence Day” has more than one meaning. So yes, I’m enjoying my day in my own fashion. Here’s what I’ve done and plan to do for the rest of the day:

7:30am – Ignore alarm and don’t even get up to turn it off.

9:00am – Get up to let the dogs out so that Dorrie will stop pawing my face.

9:45am – Begrudgingly get dressed.

9:54am – Answer text from Dad and request that he come over to assist with the parts of yard work that require sharp tools.

10:00am – Go to the over-crowded grocery store to buy fruit and soda.

10:40am – Put away fruit, soda, turkey dogs and can of blue raspberry-flavored frosting you bought. Refuse to judge myself.

10:45am – Start prepping for yard work.

11:00am – Stop stalling and actually begin mowing overgrown front yard.

11:30am – Dad shows up and starts edging.

11:45am – I finish mowing the front yard and sit around, waiting for Dad to finish actually making the lawn look good with the edger, string-cutter, whatever…

1:00pm – Finally start mowing the backyard myself and let the hounds out to play around with Dad. Make him bag the lawn clippings because I’m weak and not a real adult.

1:45pm – Finish all the yard work and admire the job.

2:00pm – Put in The Sandlot and eat super-healthy eggplant lasagna leftovers for lunch, in a computer chair so that I don’t make .

2:30pm – Continue Sandlot while doing laundry.

3:45pm – Bathe Dorrie because she likes to walk under Skeeter at inopportune times.

3:55pm – Shower.

4:15pm – Put on clothes. Remember it’s the most patriotic of all days and change into something red, white, and blue.

4:25pm – Book hotel for upcoming trip to CoMo.


5:00pm – Start writing this blog and MORE NETFLIX.

5:25pm – Publish blog and snuggle with puppies while still Netflixing.

6:00pm – Go to parents’ house.

6:15pm – Go pick up Whataburger.

6:30pm – Eat Whataburger at parents’ house.

7:00pm – Obligatory Independence Day viewing.

9:30pm – Reading with a glass of bourbon and puppies on either side.

10:30pm – Probably bedtime. Because I’m a grandma, like Betsy Ross.

Be your own kind of independent today.



We seek to learn, and when academics do not present the answers, we look inside our own beautiful imaginations for the key.

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