Posted in Humor, This is real life.

Yeah, you really can’t give middle schoolers pointy sticks.

I had this brilliant plan to make my students winter treats this year that were not only more creative than the traditional teacher gift of candy canes and perhaps a holiday card, but that were also less holiday-specific.

Enter Pinterest.

Screen shot 2013-12-20 at 12.21.24 AM

There are so many, many ideas. But most of them are more approrpriate for an elementary class. But not for the reason taht you may immediately think.

My students love stickers and candy and kid-like things as much as the next five year-old. Maybe more. But those cute little Hershey bar sleighs with a chocolate Santa riding aboard and little candy cane runners? That’s like a $2 investment per gift. And I have close to 100 kiddos, so….no.

I always do something a little special for my yearbook kids, because there are so few of them, and they’re the type of students who bring presents for me, as well. So this year, I made them melted snowman cookies (and brownies, but those weren’t exciting).


Adorable, right? In searching for cute winter recipes, I stumbled upon these frosted donut snowmen, where you use two mini powdered donuts and one powdered donut hole and then some m&ms and icing and whatnot to make a snowman on a skewer.

Unfortunately even that was too expensive, in case you were wondering. But it gave me an idea. And idea that was clearly not original, based on the results when I Googled “marshmallow skewer snowman” later that day.

Still, it was awfully cute and reasonably budgeted, so I ran with it, right to Dollar General.

As I was smooshing (technical term) the marshmallows onto the skewers, I was repeatedly poking myself, and I randomly thought, “Gee, I hope the kids don’t stab themselves when trying to eat these little guys.”


And that’s when it hit me.

The skewers that made this whole operation possible were pointed on the end. That’s why the white fluffy things slid so easily onto them. But seeing as how my students stab each other with pens, pencils, and even dry erase markers (oh yes), I knew that I just couldn’t give them pointy sticks and expect to come out of this whole operation a winner.

There are limits, folks. And even though I generally love my students and believe in them, I have to be realistic. There is no way in hell that the whole situation wouldn’t turn into some modern-day, Tex-Mex version of Lord of the Flies.

Back-up plan it is. And I had such good intentions, too! At least I’m sort of cool with my little tags this year…


PS – Don’t worry, the little marshmallow snowmen didn’t go to waste, I handed them out to the office staff and some of the new teachers. Hopefully they could refrain from stabbing each other, but I have my doubts with a few of them.




We seek to learn, and when academics do not present the answers, we look inside our own beautiful imaginations for the key.

One thought on “Yeah, you really can’t give middle schoolers pointy sticks.

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