…or What Watching 5 seasons of Mad Men in a Week Will Teach You.

I’m such a bad person, guys. I’ve been pretending that I watch Mad Men for like…however long the show’s been on, and until last Wednesday, I’d only seen, like, half of one episode.

I know, I know, it’s not nice to lie. And it tends to light your pants afire. But I’m a really busy person, okay? I mean…I teach, and I have a social life, and I travel…

So if I’m that busy, then why didn’t I just admit that I hadn’t seen it?

Have you seen my closet? Half of it looks like I stole it from the set. Also, I went to the J-school at Mizzou. Advertising show + our most respectably famous alum = required watching for me. It’s like a sin that I hadn’t watched it yet.

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Thank God for summer and Netflix, because I finally got around to watching the first five seasons, all in a single week. And let me tell you – it’s as good as I wanted it to be, and now I’m 100% hooked. And in honor of my new obsession, I’ve decided to indulge in another obsession of mine: making lists of stuff. Letterman should hire me.

The Top 10 Things I’ve Learned from Seasons 1-5 of Mad Men.

10. Don’t be surprised when, after you berate your husband into moving to the suburbs, he starts spending more and more nights at his “office.”

9. Always speak your mind, especially when you’re on a panel for something – you might get “discovered.” Just make sure not to get so excited about your first big job that you go out and get yourself knocked up.

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8. Choose the people you’re loyal to carefully, because your loyalty doesn’t guarantee theirs. Lucky Strike, I’m looking at you.

7. But then you’ll have some people who are loyal to you when you totally don’t deserve it – hang on to those people.

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6. Blondes are vain, redheads are slutty, and brunettes are librarian-types. See: Betty, Joan, and Peggy. But then, we knew that before, didn’t we?

5. Blurring the lines between work and your personal life is a risk to your health. Especially if you’re already old.

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4. When presented with a suave, handsome man (a la Don Draper) I will have an immediate crush on him, but ultimately I’m more fond of the weird, possibly damaged smart kid (a la Ginsberg or that hippie guy Peggy dates – what’s his name?).

3. It’s important to have close guy friends, not just gal pals, because they’re just as good or better at solving your romantic issues with alcohol and indulgences.

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2. If you don’t like the way your job is headed, talk your boss into firing you. It’s WAY better than quitting.

1. No, but seriously, I don’t even really like french toast, and I want to make some just to try rum instead of syrup. Sally’s my kind of cook.

Also, just FYI, the entire time I watched this scene, I was thinking “…and none for Gretchen Weiners.” So, of course, I love the Mean Mad Men tumblr. Credit to them for this and my intro image.

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About Imagine Truth

We seek to learn, and when academics do not present the answers, we look inside our own beautiful imaginations for the key.

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