Today, I had this interaction with one of my seventh graders:
“Miss, sometimes I wish I was a teacher.”
“No, you don’t. Trust me.”
“But then I would know everything and I would be in charge.”
“See, that would be awesome if it were true. But in reality, I don’t know everything, people just expect me to. And then when I want to learn what I don’t know, I don’t have the free time to do it, or the money to pay for it, because I’m still paying off my incomplete education from four years ago.”
“But you’re still in cha-arge…”
“Nope. Only in charge of you guys, and I still don’t get to pick what to teach you.”
“Okay, so maybe I like being a student.”
“I would. I did. I miss it.”
“But Miss, at least your desk still has less germs on it.”
And folks, that’s totally the truth.
I mean, with the flu/strep/colds/somethingelsethatcouldpotentiallykillme going around, I’ve put a blue tape barrier around the desk and kept the kiddos on the other side of it when they need to ask me a question. Middle schoolers aren’t so great with personal space [ boundaries. ]
I really DO miss being a student. I miss the excitement of choosing new classes, when your new books come in the mail, and writing all of the papers just the way the professor wants them. And, ridiculously, I miss skipping class.
Yep. That’s where I’m at. I miss school.
Which is why for the past couple of months, I’ve been prepping to apply for a master’s degree program. I was totally psyched, too.
But then I realized something: I don’t have time for that.
For reals, yo. I mean, in the past 12 months, I dropped over 50 pounds, bought a house, started 3 major projects, worked two different part time jobs, traveled to NYC twice, CoMo once, STL once, and I’ve got three trips planned in the next 6 months.
I SERIOUSLY don’t have time to go back to school right now. Or money to pay for it. And to be honest, it’s not like I’m trying to get it out of the way before I get married or pop one out, sooo…
I made the hard choice to just put it off for one more year, at least. And that breaks my heart, because I feel like the longer I put it off, the less likely it is to actually happen. But then I remembered what happens when I over-book myself.
I lose my shit. Completely. And then I end up having to make the hard choice to give something I care about up – because I’m not good at juggling. We know this.
Thus, I’m going to just…work on being content and up to date with where I’m at. I have plenty of time to get my master’s degree – I don’t have to do it right now. And that’s good, because I’m not going to. Doesn’t mean that I miss being a student any less, though.
Who knows? Maybe one day I’ll play a little role reversal and let one of my students teach all day. Now THERE’S an idea that is likely to make me lose my shit. Ah, well. It’s good to freak yourself out once in a while.