Posted in Humor, Life Musings

Why I Fail at Being a Clown

Every teacher has a back-up career. It’s a scientific, proven fact.

Okay, maybe not.

But we all do. The problem is, teaching is often already a back-up career. Either we found out that we couldn’t do what we set out to in college, or we found that our chosen career wasn’t what we thought it was. So teaching itself is a back-up. Which means that we might be scraping the barrel for our next career already.

Now, I have a long list of crap I think that I’d like to do. But stuff that I’m qualified to do? That’s a much shorter list.

Of all the things on the list, there’s one that I would need to gain some serious skill before I could be successful at it: being a clown.

Credit to Alenader Bebre’s Flickr stream

I know what you’re thinking. I’d make a damn good clown.

Thank you.

In some cases, you’re right. I’m goofy, clumsy, and not above making a fool of myself in front of the children.

Add to that the fact that I already dress like a crazy-pants at work about a quarter of the time (just ask the students – they still can’t handle me with a straight face when I wear my acorn dress…but I love it), I’m a pro at hiding a flask, and I do have a car into which you can squeeze more than expected.

But, there’s always a but.

The sad truth is that I am a below average juggler.

Sure, I can toss two balls back and forth – but what 3rd grader can’t? And I can even occasionally add a third…with varying degrees of success. But that’s it. I’m maxed out at three.

And for a clown, that’s just not okay. Really, for me, it’s not great.

See, last week was the First Week of School. It deserves all caps because I’m pretty sure it should be a national holiday. But then we’d all get that week off…and we wouldn’t go to school…it’s a Catch-22 of the trickiest kind. But I digress.

Last week was the First Week of School AND the week that I got the keys to my house and started getting ready to move in.

Two balls = no problem.

But wait – work and shelter aren’t all there is to life, so I had to add in at least one more ball.

Oh, right – human companionship, aka friends. Whoops.

So, I realized last week that it had been at least 2 weeks since I saw one of my friends, three week since I had seen another and – you guessed it – over a month for almost everyone else. And then there’s the fact that my over-welcoming self wants to also take out some of the new teachers to welcome them to our school.

Clearly, I dropped the ball. Get it?

Be nice, I’m tired.

See, I do best when there are two BIG THINGS and a few little distractions. But the big things take up so much energy, that all the normal other things like seeing your friends, remembering to eat properly, and sleeping go to the wayside.

Oh, well. By the end of this week, I’ll be all moved in and my failure at being a clown will be a distant memory. Until the next time.



We seek to learn, and when academics do not present the answers, we look inside our own beautiful imaginations for the key.

One thought on “Why I Fail at Being a Clown

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