GOD, I love that title.
Sorry that the blog isn’t going to be as intriguing as its headline, friends. But it totally IS about guilty pleasures and stupid decisions made for thoughtless reasons.
If you think that you’re not judging people by saying that they shouldn’t enjoy 50 Shades of Grey while you talk about how awesome that disgusting stripper movie is, then you’re not only wrong, you’re a hypocrite. I hope you fucking know that.
I do, actually.
We’re all hypocrites. It’s a downfall of being what the experts refer to as “human.”
Now, I’ll admit that at first this email offended me. Especially as it’s from someone that I see on a fairly regular basis…or will see…whatever. The point is, I was mildly irked.
Then I got over being annoyed and I started being amused. Because the paragraph that followed the one above went like this:
I am embarrassed by your brazen opinions, and even more embarrassed to admit that I know you after reading this blog. How can you support such provocative and profane sentiments? You are a teacher!
Oh, my Lord. You should have seen me. I looked like Jon Stewart does when he compares politicians’ news clips. But you just said…and then you tried to say…but you already said…and now you look like a dumb-ass.
Dear madam, please refer to your own paragraph right above, where you yourself used profane sentiments. And called me a hypocrite.
Oh, no. It seems that you, too, are affected by being human. Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us. Even teachers.
Anyway, the point is, after I got over being annoyed and amused, I realized that I do come off a little…judgy at times. And while I firmly believe that it’s my prerogative to say whatever I please on my own blog, I also have to make sure that I’m not pretending to be better than anyone else.
So, to remedy this, I thought that I would prove to you that I indulge in tasteless behavior every now and then, too. These behaviors are commonly referred to as “guilty pleasures” and “stupid choices.” Enjoy.
- I like to read romance novels (sans bondage) in a bubble bath.
- I still listen to the Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys. Sometimes even Air Supply.
- Let’s not forget Tenacious D and the Bloodhound Gang…a different kind of ‘bad’ music.
- I occasionally drink to excess.
- I pick wine by the label and nothing else.
- One of my favorite movies is Out Cold. Look it up, you’ll judge me pretty strongly.
- Other faves include Eurotrip, Super Troopers, and Cassanova.
- I try to play dirty words in Scrabble before I look for high-scoring ones.
- I read Entertainment Weekly every. single. week.
- I can – and have been known to – wobble. (Trust me, that’s a stupid, stupid choice.)
- There are some pictures from college that NO ONE will ever see.
- There are other pictures that people have seen…but don’t realize how horrified they should be because they don’t know the story.
- I have four tattoos.
- I used to get one of my friends to do my AP Physics 2 homework in high school.
- I still pretend to be a student for discounted movie tickets when I can get away with it.
- Sometimes, I put my recyclable bottles in the trash because it’s closer.
- I participated in at least three of the above activities this evening. See headlining photo for a hint.
Hopefully, this amused you or made you so irate that you’re composing your own self-righteous email to me right now. Because either of those options will make my night.
Remember, all of us are human – that includes me, you, and Mr. Rogers.